Elentari’s Neighborhood

Do you plan to be buried, cremated, cryogenically frozen or something else?
Submitted by aynge.

I plan to SEE JESUS CHRIST RETURN! :)

In Nómine Patris †, et Fílii †, et Spíritus Sancti †.:)

My Dear Friends, Peace be with you all.

On this great Year of Saint Paul, I Jeff le Bel, accompanied by Saint Raphael:), will embark on a journey to the great state of Connecticut where a thee-day-convention of my step mom church will be held.

For months now, I’ve been trying to get Travel Diaries working next stop over at Facebook, but much like Daily Devotions, it seems to have fallen in disuse(?)…

This that is yet another great opportunity for me to be ecumenical I hope not to waste. We are scheduled to return Sunday night and I know I wont be the same again and I hope the same for every one who will participate.

Upon my return, God willing, I will blog fuller about it.

But in the mean time, for our guaranteed safety and the overall success of this convention,

Please pray for us.

In Nómine Patris †, et Fílii †, et Spíritus Sancti †.:)

Hiya! First, thoughts and prayers are now with Nancy Reagan and, with no hypocrisy, Obama’s grandma… Dear Friends, In just eight days… Let’s see… [Counting on fingers:] Yes, in just eight days, you will all be faced with one of the most important decisions of this decade, and that’s who to elect as your next president. You might remember that on July 3, the eve of the 4th, I’d posted a little something for y’all, and titled it “In Decision 2008: a message to my American friends...” Well I hope that all who read it had a grand ole time (is this used in the proper context here?:) with it and with your spectacular celebration:) I know I did writing it. And as you wait for that Tuesday, I ask you all to spend some serious time in study and prayer, and I’ll be doing the same:) But in the mean time, here’s a repost of my old post—this time I caught some of the typos, LOL And within the next few days, God willing, I should have all of those links straightened out…   —In zhe Neime of zhe Fazher †, and of zhe Son †, and of zhe Holy Spirit†:) —Amen     —My Dear Friends, Peace..:) be..:) with you:) —   First of, let it be said and let it be known that this blog is not in any way affiliated with any fake news show on television:). Any similarity in sound is simply coincidental. The title could’ve been “On the Decision 2008,” or to be more auditarily(?) aesthetic (or pleasing, rather), “On the 2008 Decision,” but out fear of having it sound like a Papal encyclical, I went with this;) And now, the topic: the 2008 election… Having been born and raised in Haiti right after the dynasty of Papa and Baby Doc Duvalier, and then having witnessed our Jean-Bertrand Aristide, our Titid’s “leaving()” the priesthood and embracing liberation theology() along with everything else that comes with it, I’ve always been repulsed by politics. And I think it’s the same for many around me: I’ve only seen my mom vote once(). If, and that’s a BIG if() I ever had to, IF I EVER HAD TO, the only diplomatic position I’d ever hold would be as the Haitian ambassador to the Holy See, THE VATICAN—just for the daily Masses in the Papal chapel with the Holy Father:), but I think I can serve my country more effectively at a different post. Many times I have wished that we still had monarchs in all parts of the world. That would save time, energy and money, and that would do a great good to society. To the surprise of many around me, my beloved brother in law in particular—perhaps it’s because he’d mistakenly thought that all I care about is theology, I’ve been following the campaigns and debates from both sides as well as Governor Mitt Romney’s JFK-like YouTube posts. And this also got me to watch his inspiration, Kenedy’s for the first time. Ahhh, thank God! for YouTube:D—college boys, bored out of their minds, throwing scissors, waking their roommates with slices of un-nutritious American cheese, and colleges girls, also, bored out of their minds doing all sorts of exhibitions in their hallways…my generation!.. Yes, I admire this greatly. One shouldn’t reject his faith and convictions just for sordid gains. It’s a great contrast from the senator who has denounced his pastor and then proceeds to leave the church ONLY after the news has surfaced about how he’d sat for TWENTY PLUS YEARS() through his sweet sermons. And what’s gotten in the hearts of Americans that causes them to distrust their fellow Americans just because they practice an unusual faith??? [sigh] I’ll never understand why people leave their church. Indeed I’ll never understand church splits. There’s really no growth in that… I’ve seen so much more that disgust me. Things like those so called Catholic universities and colleges giving honorary degrees to candidates who clearly don’t stand in line with the Magisterium; and those nominal Catholic institutions have even allowed rallies to be held on their campuses! « Líbera nos, Dómine! » I kinda ♥ed Huckabee at first—maybe it was primarily because of the name, having seen a movie in our Senior English class that bares a similar name and all… Yes. It’s been a bloody battle. I’ve seen those candidates employ every dirty tricks that exists on an attempt to prove to the people who’s man enough to lead this country. So far, Hilary has succeeded greatly—with the help of her pantsuits, of course. LOLz. But isn’t it her team’s strategy, to run her as the strongest man? And, wasn’t that an example of life imitating art, when that man held up hostages at her campaign headquarters in New Hampshire, and that was not long after the episode of South Park, showcasing a similar scare had been shown on Comedy Central… Ya, it’s been a memorable season. And yes, “I hear the whisperings of many: ‘Terror on every side!()’ My friends, be very discerning; don’t let demagogy control your emotions. The Dems in particular have come out with a slogan that scares me. Both of the last two standing have been shouting out the word “change” for as long as I can remember. So much so, you’d say that they are homeless people begging for spare change on a street corner() and then when they began to take stabs at each other’s records in trying to prove which one’s more pro-abortion and therefore pro death(), I found that totally disgusting! And those are all you have to choose from? “Lord, save Your people().” But I have faith in the American people: you have an almost consistent history of choosing the better of the two [cloth] puppets, or the lesser evil, rather, and this time around I know that you’ll do it again… Many have come out attacking Senator Obama just for the sake of attacking him… But really, even if he were, so what “he’s Muslim,” and “he was sworn in using a copy of the Qur’ān?” so what!? There’d nothing to fear; Muslim leaders can make great stewards, and they have a lot to teach us. I mean, if we had the same amount reverence for the Name of God, and attentiveness to daily prayers, there’d be almost no atheists; if our women were as modest, there’d be less suffering in our world and if we were as diligent to the poor, we would all be blessed! That’s not the issue. My issue with him is this: I cannot, with any good conscience, give my endorsement to a candidate who has gone against a woman’s right to KNOW before she “CHOSES.” And one who misquotes Scriptures and pins one verse against one another for his own benefit does not stand in line with the men who has previously held the office… And I think that Father Pacwa, S.J. was right on point when he totally pwned him that evening on his program() and I totally agree with him when he pointed out how a lot of his supporters are only behind him because of emotional reasons. And indeed this is true for them both: many blindly support Clinton just because she shares the name with her husband, and or simply she’s a woman like they are, and many support Barak just because he’s black like them. To those I say no, you don’t support a candidate because of his or her outer appearances, but rather because of their records and their stance! Remember what happened the last time a people elected a charismatic leader out of emotional reasons: Nazi Germany! I know the war, the economy, food and fuel prices are important, but at what cost? And can this guy really deliver??? And those types who in law school have spent more time studying isolated court cases than the actual Constitution, the law of this land simply scare me. Furthermore, electing one of your own kind doesn’t guarantee you a better life. For that, you should put all of your trust in the One Who will usher a true theocracy:) Many don’t know the fact that during his very short time as a senator, how he has voted against the care given to a baby who has survived a botched abortion(). Now I do not dislike the guy. If it weren’t for his busboy look, we would’ve shared the same style. If it weren’t for a few things, we would’ve shared the same haircut:) but pants and shoes aside—not literally, you crazy ladies;) If I ever get to meet with him, I’d sit him down across from me at my table. And we’d discuss our differences. I’d say, Senator, have some shish kebab! Have some cotton candy. Ya, you need that… I’d invite him to take some tea as well—the good kind, made from ginger and honey:). I’d then invite him to view the contents of AbortionNO.org— [sigh] “Lord, save Your people!”                                                                                                                                  --as well as those of priestsforlife.org, and priestsforlife.org/images/index.htm. Then I’d see if he’d hold his stance, I mean, once in my life, I can’t snicker at the notion of these words :’[sigh] See? I just want him to understand what the American people want in their president… Now I do admire his courage; don’t get me wrong. In a land where despite our major steps forward these last 40 years in the areas of social justice and racial/gender equality, we still have morons with primitive() thoughts about those that are different. And seeing him expose his two young daughters, his most valuables to those nuts who might harm them (I see this as a campaign strategy used to get him the certain demographic support, but others might see it differently), and to see him stand, it’s something. But I’d conclude our sit-down with, “Senator, I think it’s better that you set this aside for some other time. Besides…look, you’ve already made history. So be satisfied…” Our next president will most likely choose a replacement for at least one of the judges—due to age and retirement, and [whispering like Homer:] Scalia is already in diapers:D ok I made it up just now (and woe to he who spreads it;)—having said that I don’t want to hear it as fact—even if it were to be so! I mean it! Ya’ll hear me? OK… Now. McCain, McCain, McCain. The man with the nice square jar (almost as handsome as mine;) He has captured peace and security for this land with his sweat and loud screams, a true American hero [swooning like SpongeBob:] With all heroic adulations aside, I must say how much his support for stem cell research (I peculate: due it’s his age and health…) troubles me. I mean, embryonic or not, the weak and helpless are not spare parts for the rich and the strong! I don’t know why. Maybe it’s blood thirst, but many “doctors” simply get great joys in “conceiving” embryos just so they could be destroyed and be used in weird experiments that offer no real cures() and no promises whatsoever, while on the other hand, there’s been countless success stories about how ADULT stem cells—ethically harvested from consenting adults—have cured a whole list of diseases. (Chris Reeve, requiéscat in pace, in Nómine Patris†, et Fílii†, et Spíritus Sancti†, amen. Many times, I’ve had to remind myself that you’ve gone ‘cause I still feel you. You’re Superman!:’) Let’s not forget McCain; we aren’t done yet. As it is between me and his opponent, truth is, I do not dislike the guy. If I’m ever granted a sit-down with him, I’d say, —“YAE YOU TOO, have some shish kebab, have some döner kebab, have some chelow kabab, have some kathi kebab. Finish it with some İskender kebap:)() —Now, have some Pepto… Then I’d proceed to show him pictures of instruments of torture, but being in bad taste, I probably wouldn’t do it; I’d present to him my argument about what has worked and what hasn’t, and I know he’d recant… If he chooses Bobby Jindal as his running mate (and if he’s observant enough he will), maybe I can trust him. And if Bobby has to replace him somewhere midterm, it wouldn’t be bad [WHISPERING like Homer] (I heard his on diapers too;)—again, just kidding… And, having been a combat Marine, he seems to be our better bet at executing the acronym L D R S H I P o y a l t y u t y e s p e c t e l f l e s s   S e r v i c e o n o r n t e g r i t y e r s o n a l   C o u r a g e In staying true to my roots, see also Boxer Battalion:) Now it’s been waaay too long since they’ve been calling those candidates are “presumptive.” I’m not asking when will they finally decide which puppet they’ll put forward??? Just make it official already!!! Ya, these are truly some tough times, and I feel for you… PAX Dómini sit semper vobíscum:) — My goal was to come out and remain neutral and a nonpartisan, and I believe I’ve achieved just that:) I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY. I ask that make your fellow Americans proud and refrain from anything that you might regret after the celebration;) So, cancel that trip to New Hampshire, and don’t even think about that midday excursion to Mexico;) and Bubbah, you don’t really need two cases of beer. One is fine. Now let us pray, “God of Lufve, You have brought us into community with people of every time and place through Your Son Jesus Christ [bowing:]. We give You thanks and praise for this gift. Open the hearts of all Your people that we may see our differences as a joyful expression of Your never-ending creation. Instill in us a spirit of acceptance and understanding that we may be Christ to our nation and our world, amen().” The footnotes will be added soon… As I work on these foot notes, I’d like to draw your attention to these valuable sources that’ll help you discern: From the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), Faithful Citizenship From Cardinal Seán’s Blog, this pdf download From my church’s foyer, courtesy of the Boston Pilot, I believe, a print copy of “Voting for the Common Good: A Practical Guide for the Conscientious Catholic” From EWTN.com, A Brief Catechism for Catholic Voters by Father Stephen F. Torraco, PhD From EWTN.com also, these most valuable resources

balderick24 asked,

“Which of The Ten Commandments have you broken or would you consider breaking? Why?”

And gcgal was a bit scared to answer, LOLz:)

 

Jeff le Bel, as Benedik :)

 

 

With a contrite heart, I say, in one form or another, I’ve broken them all.

Once you’ve broken the First Commandment—once you’ve failed to love the Lord with all your might, with all you heart and with all your soul, you’ll automatically lack the grace needed to obey the rest.

Yes, I wait, with joyful hope for the day when our wills will so strong that we’ll will what He wills!:)

“Djo” confieso ante Dios “Todopodoloeroso,”

y ante vosotros, hermanos,

que he pecado mucho,

•••

I confess to Almighty God,

and to you, my brothers and sisters,

that I have sinned through my own fault,

*beating my chest × 3 as I say,*

in my thoughts and in my words,

in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do;

and I ask Blessed Mary, Ever-Virgin,

all the angels and saints,

and you, my brothers and sisters,

to pray for me to the Lord our God,

Amen.

Now last week, my brother came to me and asked if I’d like to take a little trip with him to Florida.

Apparently he’s been sent on a mission by one of mom’s cousins—totally legal XD

I found out after I had jokingly asked…

He said we’d get on a plane from Boston and we’d drive—well HE’d drive on our way back…

The trip would take about four days in total,

I asked if we’d be staying in a hotel,

and he said yes.

(Right now I only have two days out of the week that I just cannot negotiate: Mondays and Wednesday.)

So I said yes, but we’d have to leave on Wednesday afternoon after class and we’d have to be back by Sunday night.

Since he couldn’t wait, he ended up taking his friend Bernard instead.

He just needs a companion for the long road, I guess.

Well he always does.

But I don’t blame him ‘cause we’re social beings we all each other.

How I’d love to take this trip with those two:)

I’ve hung out with them on their night shifts (WHISPERING like Homer:) they’re street-walkers XD.

Just kidding:)

And if they were, I wouldn’t be anywhere near them as they work.

But we’d talk about a lot of stuff.

So that’s two trips that I missed this week!

(as Ned Flanders:)

“Son of a deadly!!!”

La semaine dernière, mon frère m’a demandé si je voudrais prendre un tout p’tit voyage avec lui à la Floride.

(Apparemment, il a été envoyé an une mission par une des cousines de Manmi—totalement légal XD)

J’ai découvert après que j’aie en demandé tout en plaisantant..:)

Il a dit que nous prenions un avion à Boston,puis nous conduisions—bon baaah, IL l’en ferai—à notre retour…

Le voyage durerai environ quatre jours au total,

J’ai demandé si nous resterions dans un hôtel,

et il a dit oui.

(Ces jour ci, j’ai seulement deux jours de la semaine que je simplement ne peux pas négocier : Lundi et mercredi.)

Ainsi j’ai dit oui, mais nous devrions partir mercredi après-midi, juste après classe et nous devrions être de retour dimanche soir.

Puisqu’il ne pourrait pas attendre, il a décidé de prendre son ami Bernard à ma place.

Il a juste besoin d’un compagnon pour la longue route, je devinent.

Bon bah, il l’en a toujours.

Mais je ne le blâme pas parce que nous sommes des êtres sociaux, nous tous.

Aaah, comment j’aimerais prendre ce voyage avec ces deux:)

J’ai bien passé du temps  avec eux pendent leurs postes de nuit (CHUCHOTANT comme Homer:) ils sont des prostitués XD.

Alors, je fait du blague :D

Et s’ils étaient, je ne serais pas auprès d’eux pendant qu’ils travaillent.

Mais nous parlerions de beaucoup de choses.

Ça fait deux voyages que j’ai ratés cette semaine !

(comme Ned Flanders:)

« Fils d'un mortel!!! »

“Son of a deadly!!!”

Semè ki sot pase a la, frè’m lan te mande’m si’m te ka ale nan you ti vwayaj k’ap bout nan Miami Florid avèk li.

(Li sanble kòmsi youn nan kouzin Manmi an yo te voye misyen nan you misyon pou li—alò, misye gen pou li al fè you komusyon—ki toute à fait legal, XD )

Kòm mwen te dekouvri aprè mwen te fin made’l en plaisantant vrèman…

Li te di ke nou t’ap pran yon avion k’ap soti Boston epui nou t’ap kondi—bon MISYE t’ap kondiu lè n’ap retounen…

Vwayaj sa a gen pou li dure kat jou pou yon total,

Mwen te mande misye si n’ap rete nan yon otèl,

E lit e di wi, depi nou fatige.

(kounye a la, mwen sèlman gen de jou nan semèn lan ke mwen pa kab negosye ak moun: Lendi ak mèkredi.)

Ebyen mwen te di wi, m’ap avè ou, men sèlman nou gen pou nou pati mèkredi apre midi, apre klas mwen, epi dimanche swa pap’ kab pran nou deyò.

Poutèt misye pat ka tann, li te deside ale avèk zanmil l’ lan Bernard pito.

Li sèman bezwen yon moun ki pou kebe l’ konpay, mewn pase.

Ebyen, misye toujou bezwen yon moun ki pou kenbe li konpay.

Men an menm tan mwen pa blame li paske nou tout se bèt sosyal ke nou ye. Nou tout.

Aaah, mwen ta byen renmen avè yo pandan vwayaj sa a..:)

Mewn te konn pase nuit lan avèk yo deja, pandan yo te konn ap travay nan nuit. (menm jan ak Homer:) you se prostitue, XD.

Alò, se yon blag m’ap fè, :D

E si you te sa, ou pa t’ap janm wè mwen prè yo lè y’ap travay.

Men nou te konn pale sou anpil bagay.

Donk, sa fè de vwayaj semèn sa ke mwen rate!

(menm jan ak Ned Flanders:)

« pitit sila ki ka mouri a!!! »

« Fils d'un mortel!!! »

“Son of a deadly!!!”

 

I was surprised when (two weeks ago) Papi said to me that we’d all be going to Canada.

Normally I’d get the news of a big trip only when the commotion would begin, and a head would peep into my room with the assumptive question ½, « ou pa pral’ [New York; or «New Jersey; or « Miami; or « Canada]? », “aren’t you going to…”, or simply when suddenly, one of the SUVs would get replaced by a rental car:)

Don’t want to put on mileage, I guess..:D

This time around, I had a two weeks+ notice—probably because it was accompanied by a request for me to prepare the house for a couple of guests, Madan (Mrs.) Sen Val (my youngest elder sister’s godmother) and her mom, who would be stopping by, and then the original plan was for us all to go—and some extra time to prepare.

Eventhooough…

I never really plan on going since my passport (the one with the palm tree:D and the other the elements found on the Haitian coat of arms)’s, been expired for two years now…

Now, on the rest of those elements, it’s not that I can’t enumerate them all; it’s simply that it’d take a whole post to list them one by one and talk about the significance of each;)

Now I’ve been getting mixed messages.

Some say that they’d let me in as long as I present my permanent resident card—they’d accept just that, as long as I haven’t been naturalized, only then would I need an American passport, and the same would be true on my way out and “beside,” said my second brother in law to be, “the Canadians don’t even want [me:],” but the voice in my head kept telling me that things must be done in an orderly fashion. And besides, I don’t want to give the rest any delays at the border.

The only source of a definitive answer would be mom’s pastor—from whom the joke that follows comes,—who’s been naturalized Canadian before coming to the U.S. (y’all should see him now when he talks: his head flops up and down:D j.k., inside joke among South Park viewers (I used to be…), but he’s in Haiti right now and since his arrival, I haven’t even been able to reach him to say hello…

…« ou tronpe :», literally, the best fit (in this context) would be “you’ve been duped:),” the lady politely said to me as if it were sexually, or in life in general..:)

I got a good silent laugh out of that (wait, wouldn’t that be a smile:), and said to her, « …pase yon bòn joune :», “bye now; have a nice day:).”

Yes. I will only enjoy diplomatic immunity/perks only if God wills it;)

Oh the joke:)

On a Saturday morning last year (possibly the one before last), as we were about to take off for the beach (not too good of imagery:) pun not intended) yes, “depart” is the right word here…

…but this bus was bound for Canada and among its passengers there was this relatively older lady…

Once they got to the U.S./Canadian border, the authorities began to conduct a quick search of the bus—I guess it’s procedure…

…but anyhow, the conducted their search with no troubles at all. That is, until they hadn’t reached that lady.

Once they got to her, she protested, “NOONE IS TOUCHING MY THINGS; all I have here is just a pot of legume!—(a blanched, then sautéed vegetable mixture. Let me tell ya, good stuff!!!:).”

all of a sudden, they called for backup.

A whole team dressed in black just rained on them! And they even brought out their dogs with them!

You know why???

:)

Well, the word for “pot,” the cooking vessel, is « BONM, » hence the bomb squad and their bomb sniffing dogs!

[corny joke drum sound]

Now I really like this hymn that says that all the world’s God’s Own field and it’s sooo true:)

Borders, nationality, et cetera are all men’s inventions. The only people, besides the Jews, by God’s Decree, who can really claim a geographical area would be the Native Americans here in the U.S., and those in Central and South America, and let’s not forget those in Canada.

(:But even THEEEY wouldn’t stand a chance if they were to be called to court by the wild buffaloes:) and llamas:) whose ancestors have roamed the land looong before it’s discovery, RE-discovery, conquest, and colonization!

meh,

I’ve been to Canada before; this would’ve been my 3^rd or 4^th trip:)—it’s not that I’m tired of it or anything…

Plus, my sister, before she got married, has been with us on those trips, but now she has other familial obligations, and although Manmi is as cuddly, if not cuddlier(is this a word???:) than her, LOLz:), it’s not the same without her…

:)

Madan Sen Val’s mom, after noticing our empty bedroom, randomly (I mean, TOTALLY OUT OF THE BLUE:) commented on how all of the young ladies have gone to live in cohabitation. Definitely funnier in Kreyòl!

XD

Plus, culturally speaking, it’s unanimously frowned upon.

My not going just freed me to do something else that’s perhaps more fruitful:

I’ve always wanted to throw a kegger XD—just kidding, OK!!!:)

But nah…

Pastor Abraham who is from the American congregation at mom’s church had asked me (around that same time Papi came and spoke to me, if not long before) if I could help him move the furniture into the new building, and he later asked me if I could translate for him at the joint-service, and to both I said yes, I could.

I also said to him that we’d have to sit down and go over the passage and topic on which he’d be preaching so I could start preparing—you know, those prophets’ names and theological terms have a whole different pronunciation. He said to me that the Holy Spirit would do His job; just show up..:)

Plus.

I’m Catholic.

I won’t have come out of my mouth the things that I have not yet been convinced of, and I won’t have come out of my mouth the things that are complete misunderstandings and outright calumnies—brought about from a lack of ecumenical dialogs, genuine distrust and nearly total reliance on biased sources for knowledge about Catholicism.

I just can’t speak in negation about Mary. We already know Who She is and what She ain’t so there are more important things to focus on, like God’s awesome work that He’s done in Her—for His Greater Glory:)

I really felt torn and I still feel torn here.

I just wanna make myself available..:)

I just wanna be and do as much as I’m allowed to do and that I’m capable of:)

As always, I didn’t worry about outer appearances (whatever I throw on, it gets me tons of compliments;), but I did ponder, “if we should proceed with this interpretation thing, how am I going to fluctuate and drop my voice like him?—(he’s a particularly passionate guy:), and should I wear a Hawaiian shirt like him?”

But “Nah,” I said, “I’m gonna do me:

I’ll just wear a banded collar shirt, no tie;)

And so over lunch on Saturday I told him that I am Catholic, and asked him if that’d…

…yea, I didn’t even finish putting my thoughts together, and he said I could still do it!:D, and that at 7:00, as the others rehearse, we’d all (him, I + another brother (and fellow member of the BHS graduating class of ‘07) who was with us) would sit down and go over the Sunday morning program, which “is [always] subject to changes by the Holy Spirit” of course:).

Ya I really wanted to go to Canada—espesyalman paske yo achte KAY!:D, they’ve just bought a house, I heard, but I guess I can always go another time.

I just felt needed here in Brockton, and I can’t bilocate (Catholic vocab for ya;)

Plus I’ve still got a whole stack of books to quick scan before I bring them back to the library and if they can’t be renewed, anymore:), I’ll finally return them—one in particular has been with me before I started working there in early June;) there’s also this another book, an Oprah’s pic (by Edwige Danticat(1) that I borrowed from my English prof. that I want to take a look at before returning it to him…

PLUS I still have to do a mini inventory of my old notes and magazines and decide which one will get the shredder and recycling bin treatment, and which one will have another year…

Ya, all in all, it was a good weekend!

 

(1)        http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/037570504X/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_0?ie=UTF8&index=0

How come this is the first thing on Vox that’s compeled me to sit down to fill it out???

1.         Are your farts:

•          Silent but Deadly

•          All sound, no fury

•          Loud and stinky

 

•          N/A, Jeff le Bel doesn’t have an anus. jk

No. I do. I do.:)

Well, to be honest, I can’t really give an accurate answerer; you’d have to interview…

(ohmyGod, what’s this smell??? WELL, WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Someone must’ve figured out which question I’m now filling out. WOW…)

…yes. You’d have to interview someone who’s lived with me or near me…

But you know, I spend most of my time alone in my bedroom or the office working, thinking and watching TV, and I always have at least one window open. So that’s probably why I don’t smell anything. Either that, or I’ve grown accustomed to it. I’d say it’s quite pleasant, Ha-ha.

2.         Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it?

Well, whom do I love? My mom…oh, I guess this is romantic talk, I see…

I guess it’d be a mutual thing—just like everything else in a relationship…

 

And while we’re on the subject, I just don’t understand how Papi simply lets them loose, and then pretends as if nothing happened.

I’ve been told that this is how it’s been for his generation: when an adult flatulates, the child must excuse him/herself on behalf of the adult. Could he be waiting for me to excuse myself???

3.         Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?

I’ve had farts unjustly blamed on me, but…

I guess I would blame it on a dog or any other pets, since for the most part, they can’t really speak for themselves :)

Just kidding, O.K.

I’d take the responsibility for my own…

4.         What food triggers you?

Fibrous foods, I guess.

5.         Varts (Vaginal Farts). Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?

¿Quéee?

First of, I don’t see any elements of fear in that, and secondly, I don’t get the second part of the question…

 

[p a u s e]

[recollect]

[reflect]

 

Jeff le Bel:

♪ In Nómine Patris†, et Fíílii†, et Spíritus Sancti†, ♪

 

All:

♪ Ame-en. ♪

 

Jeff le Bel:)

♪ PA-AX Vo-o-bís: ♪

All:

—

The topic, vaginal flatulence:

Notice how I’ve stopped writing “flatulation,” LOLz:)

Now many of us, I, myself included of courses, have not had a parent or two sit us down, and explain to us “the birds and the bees.”

I was kinda, sorta fortunate to have had some conversations with my mom and it was mostly about childbirth, and looking at it now, I realize how well she performed under pressure (I’ve been described as inquisitive on at least two occasions;) as a single mom raising me, she did an outstanding job,

I mean look at how I came out. Am I right??? XD

But when I came to the U.S. at the age of 13, all of that had ceased…

In the summer of 2oo4, at the age of 16, I took charge of my first job at a hospital in Newton, Mass…

The following summer, I found a position at a supermarket located just across my highschool…

These first two jobs exposed me to many adults who have fallen by the way side(? word choice here???:).

And in addressing this issue, they were simply rude, crude if not flat out misogynic in manor…

In a time and age when most uf us claim to be self-sufficient and auto-reliant (?:), this is what’s happening in the mind.

We do tend to distrust and or fear the unknown or the unusual. And it’s human. But still, this should not be the subject of rude and crude jokes, and no, this doesn’t mean that women are an inferior species.

BY NO MEANS!

Et n’oubliez surtout pas le fait que « Le vagin se nettoie de lui-même »,

et que « C’est pas necessair de prendre les irrigations vaginales :»

The prophet Hosea, in admonishment to the people of God wrote, “My people perish for want of knowledge!(http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PT4.HTM)”,  meaning, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” And I don’t know if it’s just me, but the French speaks volume: « Mon peuple est détruit, faute de connaissance »

—Hosea (Osée) 4:6

We are humans, and being humans comes with a lot of human conditions. We sweat, we annoy each other, we make noises, we fart—even vaginally and that’s normal ‘cause we’re humans!:)

Yes! Parents, this is some of the things you willingly expose your children to when income is considered more important than your child’s education—to some it’s a necessity and I do acknowledge this fact, don’t get me wrong, but I ask, “at what cost?”

GOD BLESS Y’ALL!!!:)

 

 

 

P.S.

…and I thought girls didn’t fart…

hmph

Updated this Wednesday, July 30, 2008 at 1:48:40 PM

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